Epiphany

I have had a revelation:

Teaching is really difficult.

The Scream

Edvard Munch, 1893

See. He knows.

Usually, I consider myself to possess a (rather lovely) combination of articulate communication skills and general comfort with kids. (Granted, I'm working with 14-18-year-olds so "kids" is a not-so-applicable term. But still.) High school students have a way of challenging your preconceived notions about yourself and your skills. And they seem to sense, like dogs or bees or some other fear-sensing animal, when you question yourself in a classroom. I sometimes wish that respect would come instantly from these students and then simultaneously feel that I am far too clueless to have earned such respect.

So I'm having difficulty connecting with the students, which an issue I didn't really expect to encounter. I'm torn between relating as a student, which I am, or as a teacher, which I want to become. It's an uphill battle to be sure. And until I figure it out, I will keep muddling through like everyone else.

Wish me luck! And stay tuned for my next post, which will most likely explore still life painting.